Whirlwind

It's been a whirlwind around here!

One June 20th, I began the Lupron shots in my abdomen. I made the hubby sit in the room with me while I did the first one, mostly because I was afraid. (We don't do needles in our house very well.) It took me a while to muster up the guts to do it, but I finally did and found that it wasn't so bad. By the next day, I came out of the bathroom and bragged, "This is nothin'. I'm an old pro at this already; I can SO do this." Two weeks later, it's still an easy thing to do, but it's starting to hurt a little more than it used to. Maybe that area has just taken enough abuse from and is saying "enough's enough"? It's still bearable and not something I even dread; it's just unpleasant.

My D&C had to be moved to adjust to my medication schedule, so I had that done on June 29th. Everything went well and the polyp (a.k.a. the entire reason why I had to get a D&C) was not even there, so my OB just did the D&C, per Dr. K's request. I had little to no pain afterwards, which was a big relief. My biggest problem was the weariness I felt from the anesthesia, but even that wasn't so bad.

On June 30th, I began taking Estrace again. I had not had any side effects from the Lupron up until this point, but it seems as if the day I added the Estrace to my regiment, the evening hot flashes began. Even just a week later, they're not coming as often so hopefully my body is adjusting and those will be over soon. I take my last Lupron injection on July 9th, so change is just around the corner once again.

I have so many things swirling through my mind right now, it's sometimes hard to keep up with it all. I know it's in God's control, that He is entirely faithful (Psalm 89:8), and that His will is greater than anything I can do or over-think...but that doesn't make this wait any easier. Our transfer is scheduled for July 20th. Just two weeks from today, we'll be heading back home...but I feel like I'm facing the longest two weeks of my life right now!

Patience, Lord...give me patience.

Consultation & Mock Transfer

The hubby and I left on Sunday, May 16th to drive to Knoxville for our consultation appointment with the NEDC. We took our time getting down there, stopping for lunch and dinner, along with a slight detour to visit a friend. It rained for a good portion of the day, but we arrived at our hotel, safe and sound. We stayed at the Hampton Inn in Lenoir City, TN, which is about 10-15 minutes from the NEDC's office. We often choose Hampton Inns and could tell right as we walked in the door that this was one of the "good" ones. We ended up on the ground floor, which was very nice, though a parking lot light was shining in our room the entire night, even with the curtains closed. Normally not a big deal, but I was already a restless mess of nerves, so between that and some noises coming from the floor above (ice machine?), it was a long night for me. I awoke at 5:45am to a dog barking in a nearby room. Just as I was about to find the phone to complain, the a/c turned on in our room, drowning out the sound. Unfortunately, I was already awake though. I wrote the following about what happened next on my personal blog:

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"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul." - Psalm 94:19 (NKJV)

I woke yesterday morning to a dog barking at 5:45am after a full night of tossing and turning. The a/c kicked on in our room to drown out the sound, but I never went back to sleep after that. It was early. Way too early to be moving around the hotel room and waking my hubby on his birthday. We weren't leaving until 8:30am and here I am, awake. I find my flip flops, throw my hair in a (messy?) pony tail, and stumbled down the hall to get some coffee. (I never really even looked in the mirror; I'm sure I was quite the sight to see!) Coffee mission accomplished, making no eye contact with anyone, I drag myself back to our room. As I was packing the night before, I thought to bring my Bible with me. I don't normally bring it on short trips, but I've really been keeping up with the 2 year plan, so I figured "why not".

The above scripture came to mind as I was thinking about the morning so I scrounged around for the book light and sat down in the dark with my coffee. Remember, I do not choose what I read in a day; it's already laid out for me. I ran across a scripture that, in the course of my life's journey, has been read many times -- Psalm 113:9. "He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother." I'm not sure I've ever read this in the NLT before, so "a family" really hit me. Yes, I do have a family now, but the word "family" makes me think of MORE...more than one child. This whole time I've wanted obvious confirmation. Did I really just get slapped upside the head with it and still walked away in doubt?

I go on to finish my reading and start listening to "None but Jesus" (with earbuds in, of course, remember the birthday boy is still sleeping!):

...In the chaos, in confusion

I know You're Sovereign still

In the moment of my weakness

You give me grace to do Your will...

And there it was; the peace came. In the multitude of my anxieties within me (there were many!), His comforts delight my soul. How could I ever do this without Him? I'd rather not find out.

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We left the hotel for our 9am appointment a little after 8:30am and headed to the NEDC's office. We signed in and waited a bit until they called us back. They had recommended I drink 48-64 ounces of water that morning before the appointment for the ultrasound so I drank 60 ounces. My bladder was about to burst, so when the nurse called us in, she found me standing in the waiting room because sitting made it too painful! We sat and talked with Dr. K for what felt like an eternity (simply because I had to pee!) and then they brought us to an exam room. I undressed and waited for the doctor to come in to do the ultrasound and mock transfer. After it was done, they let me go to the bathroom (RELIEF!!!) and I came back into the exam room for two more ultrasounds/exams. Everything looked great, with the exception of what he thinks is a polyp that shouldn't be there so he wants me to go get a D&C a couple weeks before the transfer to have it removed. It's not a big deal, just something that shouldn't be there, especially during a pregnancy.

After my exams with Dr. K, we met with the NEDC patient coordinator and the embryologist. Next came the office manager to discuss finances, a nurse to draw some blood so they could test my thyroid, and our last visit with our nurse to go over the remaining details.

We left the office around 1pm, I think, and headed to get some lunch before we hit the road. The drive home seemed to go a lot faster, partially because we gained an hour, but also because it was sunny most of the way home. We opted to eat dinner in the car to get us back to our boy that much faster -- we were both missing him pretty badly by this point and wanted to try to catch him before bedtime.

Later that week, I called a local fertility doctor that Dr. K had recommended and set up a new patient consultation with him so their office could handle the necessary ultrasounds and bloodwork I'll need before and after the transfer. I also scheduled the D&C with my regular OB/GYN for what should be the correct dates before our transfer.

Right now, they told us we'll probably be scheduled for the September transfer cycle because July is pretty full. When I asked if I should just take the July dates (and babysitter) off my calendar, they said "not yet" because there could be cancellations. (Praying!!!) This basically means I have to plan for a July transfer when coordinating appointments and medications...but only with the knowledge that I may have to reschedule for September. Frustrating, but if there's a chance we can get in for July, then I'll do whatever it takes!

They started me on Prometrium the following day for 5 days to make me start my period. Right on track with the medications, it worked. Now it's a matter of waiting for a phone call to see if we got in for July or if we have to wait. Have I mentioned that waiting isn't an area of strength for me? *sigh*

Here We Go!

On May 1, I started the Estrace. So far, so good. Can't say I've really had any noticeable side effects, although I've also been battling a UTI so my body is not exactly normal. It's crazy to think that this process has really begun! I know it's just the mock transfer, but it's one step closer. So exciting, yet so scary all at the same time...

Thank God for Insurance

Two pieces of good news to add:

- While a 12 day period isn't ideal, that's thankfully all it ended up being. I take my last bc pill on Tuesday and should start (again? really? so soon?) within 5 days. The first day I do, I begin taking the Estrace.

- I picked up the Estrace (name brand only - specifically what the doctor requested) from the pharmacy today. Our insurance does not cover anything regarding fertility other than the process to determine the cause of it, so I wasn't sure if any of my medications would be covered. I ended up paying $50 and insurance covered $153. Thanks for hooking me up there, God!

Our Journey So Far

In attempt to keep this information all in one place, I'm making my first post a timeline of events so far:

Friday, August 28, 2009:

Submitted online application to the NEDC

Thursday, September 10, 2009:

Received information packet from NEDC with paperwork to complete, including testing and bloodwork for both my husband and I.

September 19, 2009:

Submitted application for homestudy renewal to Bethany Christian Services.

October 1, 2009:

Picked up packet of paperwork for homestudy renewal from Bethany.

December 9, 2009:

Met with our adoption coordinator at Bethany for our homestudy renewal visit! ($1200)

December 21, 2009:

Called the NEDC for an update to find we are currently 18th on the list and that their calendar is currently booked through March 2010. Everything else is on hold after that, waiting for the doctor to schedule his vacation.

January 4, 2010:

Called the patient coordinator at the NEDC to see if anything had changed. We're still #18 on the list.

January 25, 2010:

Received email from Bethany Christian Services in Tennessee, letting us know our family assessment has been received and approved. A letter has been sent to the NEDC stating this. We should be hearing from them within the next few weeks to schedule our consultation.

February 9, 2010:

Called to check in again with the NEDC's patient coordinator and learned we are #6 on the list! Dr. K's calendar is booked through May and June hasn't been opened up yet. We could possibly get our consultation appointment in late June/early July, then we would be scheduled for our transfer during next available period. Learned that transfer periods are every other month: Jan - Mar - May - Jul - Sept - Nov.

March 16, 2010:

Received a call from the NEDC to schedule our consultation/mock transfer appointment! We're set for May 17, 2010 -- a lot sooner than I expected! (Thanks, God!)

March 30, 2010:

Learned from the patient coordinator at the NEDC that the policy for Bethany's fees has changed. For anyone who signed an agreement with the NDEC after November 1, 2009, Bethany's $3000 fee applies, whether you choose an open or an anonymous adoption. Thankfully, this fee does not apply to us, as we signed our agreement in September 2009.

April 8, 2010:

If things had gone according to plan, my cycle was going to be perfectly lined up with where it needed to be for my mock transfer in May. I haven't had a period like this in over a year, but I went 37 days this time, which of course, threw everything off by a week. They started me on birth control (Reclipsen) and I'm supposed to take it until April 27, 2010. After that, my cycle should start within 5 days. When it does, I'm supposed to begin taking the Estrace.

April 20, 2010:

I think I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel! A 12 day period? Seriously?! I've read that this is common when starting birth control, but I find it pretty annoying. If they need me to go back on bc after the mock transfer, I think I'll ask for a different kind. This stuff definitely did NOT agree with me -- nausea, extreme fatigue in the late afternoon/evening, severe "Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde" syndrome...that just doesn't work for a SAHM of a 2 year old!